'She made a big scene': Woman mocks coworkers' vegan lifestyle, then gets upset that coworker won't eat her "vegan" food

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Oct 21, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

A birthday cake is dividing this workplace. That's because of two coworkers who can't see eye to eye about food.

People eat all sorts of diets for all sorts of reasons. For example, if you go to the doctor and your cholesterol is high, they might tell you to stop eating eggs. Or if you want to have more vegetables and less red meat, you might start eating fish in place of burgers. Everyone eats in their own unique ways, and has their own specific likes and dislikes. But for some reason, people will respect people like the aforementioned, but will constantly try to make people who are vegans "trip up" and accidentally consume non-vegan foods. 

Some people hear that someone is vegan and take it as an insult. Since that person isn't eating exactly like them, they don't know how to handle it. U/lorande9 had that unfortunate experience at her own workplace. She's a vegan, but her colleague Bea is alway making fun of veganism (even though the OP says her diet is never an issue for her). Worse still, it's clear that Bea doesn't take the OP seriously at all. She even tried to feed the OP meat and cheese, while winking and claiming it was vegan! That's a gross way to treat someone---and if you treat a colleague that way, HR might need to step in to put you in your place. 

Read the entire story below, along with comments from people who had great advice for the OP. Then, read all about the silliest questions customers have ever asked, like one person who was couldn't tell the difference between two soups at the buffet…because "both of them are called 'Caution---Hot."

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  • 01
    Food - Tiarone Boasday
    via Imants Kaziļuns on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - AITA for refusing to eat from my colleague's vegan birthday cake?
    via u/lorande9
  • 03
    Font - I (29f) am working in an office and I have a colleague Bea, who routinely makes fun of vegans. I am vegan and i never make a fuss about food, i go to the same restaurants as my coworkers during lunch hour and i can always find myself something to eat without announcing my dietary choices. Bea keeps calling me out on it though and she's very condescending about it, she keeps
    via u/lorande9
  • 04
    Font - saying i am just having a phase and she keeps offering me bites of her lunch that contain cheese and meat, and when i refuse she just goes "oh come on, its vegan i promise!" winkwink. Its very childish and annoying and even other people asked her to tone it down, but she insists shes just joking.
    via u/lorande9
  • 05
    Font - Last week she brought a homemade cake to the office for her birthday, and when she put a slice down in front of me i politely thanked her but i said i cant eat that. She said the cake is vegan and she made it specifically so i could eat it, but knowing her very loose definition of vegan i asked a
    via u/lorande9
  • 06
    Font - few questions about the ingredients and she didnt check any of them for milk or eggs, so I thanked her again but refused the slice. She made a big scene out of it, she started crying and saying she just wanted to do something nice for me and now i ruined her birthday.
    via u/lorande9
  • 07
    Font - Some colleagues told me not to mind her dramatics, but my boss told me that it was her birthday and i could have given her cooking the benefit of the doubt. I sort of see his point, but i also feel like i dont need to justify my food choices to anyone and i never asked her to make the cake vegan for me. AITA?
    via u/lorande9
  • 08
    Font - whatsername235 NTA. Sounds like she was waiting for you to eat it so she could go 'aha!' and tell you how much you enjoyed it.
    via u/whatsername235
  • 09
    Font - geckotatgirl This. Exactly this! NTA, OP. No one has to eat anything they don't want to. And milk and eggs are the minimum she should be checking for. Sugar is also problematic for vegans as well as many other ingredients that she probably has no idea about. I'm not a vegan but I'm a baker and working at a very upscale resort in the bake shop taught me how many things aren't acceptable when baking vegan recipes.
    via u/geckotatgirl
  • 10
    Font - LuckStrict6000 NTA. An adult woman crying because someone won't eat her bday cake is sad. Wow.
    via u/LuckStrict6000
  • 11
    Font - perhapsnew ΝΤΑ Bea is bullying you. It's inappropriate in a working environment. You should file a complaint with HR and describe all the incidents.
    via u/perhapsnew
  • 12
    Font - She made a big scene out of it, she started crying This is not acceptable. You've done nothing wrong. She is acting as if she is a victim. She is not a victim, she is a bully.
    via u/perhapsnew
  • 13
    Font - my boss told me that it was her birthday and i could have given her cooking the benefit of the doubt Report your boss as well. Nobody should be pressured to eat something they don't want.
    via u/perhapsnew
  • 14
    Font - Electric Moccoson "i also feel like i dont need to justify my food choices to anyone" Ding! Ding! Ding! That's the correct answer - NTA
    via u/ElectricMoccoson
  • 15
    Font - korra767 I mean even if it WAS vegan, "No" is a complete answer. There could have been 1000 other reasons for declining a piece of cake, and she doesn't need to defend it! NTA at all
    via u/korra767
  • 16
    Font - [deleted] I'll bet you $50 that cake wasn't actually vegan. NTA.
    via u/deleted
  • 17
    Font - goldmedalshrter. Should have taken the bait and made a huge scene after Bea inevitably says it's not vegan. Get that sh on an HR record and get her off your as. Short term sacrifice for long term gain.
    via u/goldmedalsh*rter
  • 18
    Font - Radiant_Cat618 NTA - she's clearly and repeatedly shown that she doesn't respect your dietary choices. Her cake was probably as vegan as a bacon cheeseburger. You politely refused. Your boss needs to take several seats as it's completely inappropriate for him to comment on what you eat or don't eat. He needs to talk to Bea about her bullying and harassing you over food.
    via u/Radiant_Cat618
  • 19
    Font - Varnished Truths ΝΤΑ Anyone over the age of 8 who thinks their birthday is ruined because someone doesn't want cake needs to grow up. You weren't mean to her. You didn't hurt her. You d didn't yell and swear and her to the deepest pit of H. Your boss is only going at you because the boss thinks it's easier to make you bend than to deal with your coworker's tantrums.
    via u/Varnished Truths
  • 20
    Font - [deleted] It's super weird that a grown adult went into work with any expectation for their birthday at all. Coworkers happen to get you a cake? Bonus! That was nice of them. But you expect something special at work from anyone just because it's your birthday? Sad and bizarre.
    via u/deleted

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cake terrible coworkers boss workplace-stories birthdays jobs job birthday bosses work coworkers Office workplace birthday cake vegan
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